Seeing Things
by Wolfram von Bielefeld
Summary: He wasn't crazy. He was just mentally unwell. Yuuri was real. But...so was this other version. Why does everything hurt? When Wolfram is sent to a psych ward, he is faced with the truth Yuuram/Wolfyuu rated M for mature situations and strong language AU
1. Prologue

**Howdy doo! I know that this may seem really vague, but please bear with me! It'll make sense in the chapters to come! And considering that this is my first multi chapter story in a while, I really want to make it something good!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**Prologue: **

Everything hurt.

Pain. Throbbing. Bleeding.

Hurt.

The more he said it, the more the word rolled off his tongue. So he said it again.

Hurt.

He didn't know what to do, so he took another drag of his cigarette.

And it hurt.

Fuck. Even breathing hurt. Another drag. Another puff of air. Oxygen…who came up with that one? And now look at him. Addicted to the stuff. To oxygen. Why should he be addicted to oxygen? Did he _need_ it, like it's some form of drug? The oxygen hurt, so he stopped breathing.

And you know what? That shit hurt, too.

What a surprise.

Not.

His eyes were probably blood shot and his clothes were wrinkled. He couldn't bring himself up to the point of giving a flying fuck. Why should he?

Hurt.

Why does it hurt?

The arms that wrapped around him were his only comfort. The voice whispering in his ear made it hurt less.

"_Wolfram…_ "

It was calling his name…he needed it. It was the only way to get rid of the hurt.

"_Do it.." _

Wolfram had thought about it before. The walls of his tiny apartment seeming to be caving in. The voice kept whispering to him.

It didn't hurt.

This time, it _was _a surprise.

Maybe he should listen to the voice because the voice makes it hurt less.

No more hurt.

No more.

Hurt.

And with little more prompting needed, he listened to the whispering voice and promptly dug the knife into his flesh.


	2. Chapter One  Breathe

**Hey guys! Here's the first chapter~ I wrote it in two days hahaha I've been really excited about this story so I hope that you give it a chance! It may seem a little confusing at first, but things are going to start making sense, soon~**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**Chapter One: Breathe. **

Black hair. Slanted, cat eyes. A sly grin. A seductive leer. Yuuri. Yuuri. Yuuri. His walk screamed seduction and power. Wolfram was memorized by the sight. He couldn't look away. It hurt to look away.

Hurt.

That word was familiar.

Yuuri took only a few moments to assess the situation. The sin. There was nothing else other than this Yuuri. Everything else faded away into blackness. This Yuuri motioned with a single finger for Wolfram to step closer. Wolfram wanted nothing more. One step. Then another. Finally. Finally, he's there. Close to him. Hysteria rang in his ears. Why was this so addictive? Like a new world.

A drug.

This Yuuri was a drug.

But was it bad that Wolfram wanted more? More, more, more. Never ending. Everlasting. This Yuuri could give it to him. He could make the hurt go away.

No more hurt.

Ever.

And fuck, it felt good. So good. No more hurt. No more worry.

Just Yuuri.

"_Wolfram."_

A single word. His name. This Yuuri allowed the syllables to escape his acid tongue effortlessly. As if he were born to say it. Wolfram's name.

Just his. No one else's.

This Yuuri spread his lips and spoke in a drawling voice, words struggling to escape the pleasure grounds of his mouth. His words swam in Wolfram's head. Drowned in it. Wolfram allowed them to. If only because it didn't hurt.

No hurt.

And it was heaven. Euphoria. Better than sex. To think, the key to ending his pain was listening to this Yuuri.

"_Wolfram…do it…"_

What was that? Oh right. This Yuuri wanted him to do something. But could he do it? What was it that he had to do?

Cold metal on flesh. Ruby drops dripping.

Was that what he wanted?

"_Yes…"_ this Yuuri hissed. _"Good…now do it…"_

But wouldn't that make the hurt come back? What about the other Yuuri? The one with the big black eyes and short black hair. The opposite of this Yuuri. What about his part time job? What about his apartment? What would happen to all of it?

"_Do it…and we'll be together, forever."_

Forever? That was a long time. A damn long time. What would Wolfram do without the other Yuuri? His best friend. His unrequited love.

"_Wolfram."_

That voice again. The one that made the hurt go away.

Wolfram wanted it. He wanted no more hurt. It was heart stopping. Head pounding. Hard to deal with. He wanted nothing to do with it.

He wanted to believe in this Yuuri. The one with the cat eyes and long black hair.

It was as if the sun were raining down on him. This was it. This was what he needed.

"_Do it…"_

He was desperate. Willing. And it hurt.

Everything did.

Scenarios ran through his head. Galloping on his logic and reasoning. He saw flashes of his life. Of his future. Everything. They resounded off of each other in a wonderful ballad. Desperation fueled his movements.

"_Do it…"_

He had no other choice.

Rushing. Rushing. Rushing. Hurry! Fast! Before it's too late!

No choice

No options.

He did it.

* * *

><p>Wolfram was floating. Drifting by. He could feel warmth pulsing through his fingers and the feeling was spectacular. Comforting. He was holding something. Oh right…the knife. But it felt strange. The weight of it. But there was something else that was off.<p>

It didn't hurt.

No more hurt.

Just like the other Yuuri had promised.

He smiled serenely and allowed his body to fall backwards to the cool wooden floor of his apartment. It felt good. The coldness on his back. The warm in his hands. Where was the other Yuuri? Gone?

Alone.

Wolfram didn't care, though. It didn't hurt, so he didn't care. There was nothing to care about.

He heard a voice. Something familiar. He turned his head towards the sound but he couldn't see past all of the not-hurt. It was a cloud obscuring his vision. A misty haze that covered everything in dewy drops of rightness.

"W….am….."

That voice again…Who was there?

"Wol…..ram."

There it was again. The voice.

Yuuri? Was that him?

"Wolfram."

It is Yuuri…

The real Yuuri.

"Wolfram! What have you done to yourself! I knew that I shouldn't have left! Oh God...I'm so sorry…Wolf!"

And suddenly, all of the not-hurt disappeared. There was nothing other than the cool floor and the heavy beating of his heart. The feeling of blood surrounding him. The weighty handle of the knife. What was going on? Wolfram's eyes darted around the room. The sofa, the television. Everything was back to normal. There wasn't another Yuuri. Everything was normal.

And it fucking hurt.

Wolfram's breaths came out in sharp puffs of air. Painful intakes of oxygen.

He was back to square one.

Wolfram's vision was still blurry, but he assumed that it was due to blood loss. Everything seemed…_slow_. Slow motion. Not moving. He felt the presence of someone standing next to him and was glad. No more loneliness. No more hurt.

"Y-Yuuri…?" He whispered in a voice that was unfamiliar to his ears.

Yuuri's big black eyes were welling up with tears. "Wolf…I'm so sorry…We're going to get you help. I'm going to make you better again." His voice lowered to a mere murmur as he pulled out his cell phone. No doubt, he was dialing the number for Wolfram's psychiatrist, Gisela.

Wolfram wasn't aware of much after that point. He lifted a hand. Reaching for Yuuri. For his sun. He recalled not being able to reach him. Quivering fingers fell back onto his chest. Useless. He couldn't breathe. It hurt too much to breathe.

But this hurt was different.

It wasn't the usual hurt that greeted his every move and thought. This hurt was a sharp, clear hurt. Something that he could identify. Something that he could describe. This hurt was painful and made him dizzy. This hurt had substance.

He liked this kind of hurt.

His lips quirked up in a smile and he let himself go. There was no more Yuuri. No more anything.

Just Wolfram and his hurt.

He heard a door opening. Slamming. Who was there? Wolfram didn't care. He heard yelling. He heard his name being shouted, but he didn't know who was shouting it.

He guessed that it meant goodbye. This was it. This was his final breath. His final moment of hurt. He bid his goodbyes to Yuuri. Both of them. His breaths were shuddering, quivering under the strength that it took to let them escape Wolfram's worn lungs. Lungs that were tired of tobacco and the stress of _living_. Lungs that shared Wolfram's hurt.

Wolfram felt cold. Entirely too cold. But his hands were still warm with blood. Blood. Too much flowing out of a wound that could have been prevented. A wound that had been self caused. Wolfram regretted nothing. If it meant that he could have a few minutes…_moments_ of not hurt, than it was well worth it. Nothing made sense. Everything made sense. He couldn't distinguish between the foggy old hurt and the hazy new hurt.

Either way, it was all hurt.

Wolfram took another breath.

The shouting wouldn't stop. It was annoying. Wolfram wanted it to stop. Wanted everything to stop. And with one, final, quivering breath.

It did.

* * *

><p>Yuuri was frantic. Scared. Terrified. Wolfram's body was growing cold and limp in his arms, and there was no one else to blame other than him. Gisela had warned him several times to not leave Wolfram alone under any circumstances. If something came up and Yuuri were forced to leave his best friend, he was under strict orders to call her, and she would watch the blond.<p>

Yuuri had gone to the grocery store. For a few minutes. An amount of time that shouldn't have given Wolfram the opportunity to do something like this. He was going to make Wolfram's favorite for dinner. A celebration of his good behavior. Gisela had made a break through with him only two days ago. Wolfram had been so good since. So good. But it hadn't been enough.

Yuuri had forgotten the very reason why Wolfram couldn't be left alone in the first place.

Gisela would be on the way, soon. As would the ambulance. Yuuri needed them to hurry. He needed them to get there soon. To save Wolfram.

"Breathe Wolfram…keep breathing…please…" Yuuri begged, his voice thick with stress and fear. He clutched the limp form closer to him, as if he could transfer some of his life force into Wolfram.

Separation Anxiety Disorder. At least, that's what they thought it was at first. Wolfram couldn't be left alone. It would drive him into catatonic states that would take hours for him to work through. Days at the worst. Yuuri had been with him during the worst of it. They had been friends ever since he could remember. Wolfram had lived down the street with his mother and two brothers. He didn't talk about his father much, but Yuuri had always suspected that he had been abused at some point and that Celi had fled her home to protect her son. The signs had all been there. Yuuri and Wolfram hit it off immediately; they constantly had sleepovers and camping trips, and they had even gone to the same schools. Nothing was abnormal about it. Wolfram was a little clingy, but nothing that made Yuuri feel that something was wrong.

Wolfram's clinginess grew worse with the years. Now, as a college student, Wolfram attended therapy and took medication in an attempt to stifle his fear of being left alone.

Yuuri blamed the world for Wolfram's disorder. In Yuuri's mind, no one was free of blame. Himself included. He blamed Wolfram's father for never being there. He blamed Wolfram's mother for never staying home to take care of her children. He blamed Wolfram's brothers for not noticing when Wolfram's simple fear of sleeping alone had developed into something much more severe. And he blamed himself for not doing anything sooner to help his best friend.

When Wolfram met Gisela, Yuuri had felt that all of their worries would simply disappear. Wolfram would be safe and secure. He had a professional to listen to his worries and figure out how to help him. Yuuri had felt a tremendous weight leave his shoulders. He went to classes happily and then home to his shared apartment with Wolfram just as equally happy. Wolfram had been happy, too. For a short time.

But then, Wolfram began to complain of something that he had dubbed 'hurt'. Yuuri had asked him at the time if he had injured himself, but Wolfram had calmly replied that it wasn't _that_ kind of hurt. Wolfram's hurt was different. Something that he couldn't explain. Yuuri had told Gisela. Gisela has prescribed a new medication and the matter had been dropped.

Then, the hallucinations had started. Wolfram began to talk of seeing another Yuuri. A Yuuri that was very different from the usual Yuuri. This Yuuri told Wolfram to do things. Horrible things.

Wolfram listened.

Gisela had been reluctant to diagnose it at first. She had written it off as a simple reaction to his new medication. She had given him more medicine and it had been dropped.

Just like last time.

But unlike last time, Wolfram didn't stop talking about the other Yuuri and the hurt. His conversations seemed to revolve around them. Gisela had warned Yuuri to not leave Wolfram alone until she could figure out what was really the problem. What was the crux of the issue.

Yuuri had forgotten.

He had forgotten his friend. His Wolfram.

And now look at what had happened.

Yuuri heard the door slam open and was instantly filled with relief. Gisela had finally arrived. He could hear sirens in the background that indicated that the ambulance had also arrived. The psychiatrist took one look at Wolfram and gasped. Blood covered the floor in great pools and Wolfram's weapon of choice lay forgotten. The blond was gasping for air as if breathing were a chore. Two men rushed into the room carrying a stretcher. They didn't need to waste time knocking for Gisela had left the front door wide open.

Yuuri barely recalled anything after that. He had felt Wolfram being yanked from his arms and the pale body being strapped down before being rushed to the waiting vehicle. Gisela and Yuuri had been hurried into the back, and they were off.

It had only been twenty minutes since Yuuri had first decided to leave.

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	3. Chapter Two Until We Bleed

**Hey guys! Here's chapter two of Seeing Things! I hope that you enjoy it~**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All references to mental disorders, institutionalizing process, and the medical procedure that persons with said mental disorders go through is made up. Do not take this as a serious psychological process, I did the best with what information that I could find that would fit in the story.**

As soon as he is left alone, a demon appears. A majestic figure clothed in ebony. His very presence screams power and Wolfram is little more than a slave to him. A follower. But it was alright. It was perfectly fine.

This Yuuri took away the hurt.

He had been asked several times to explain the hurt, but he couldn't do it. It was impossible. Indescribable. It was a tugging sensation, something that pulled at the very fabrics of his mind. Something that made his words turn to mush and his movements sluggish. It made his world shift and his vision foggy. He couldn't see. Couldn't breathe.

This Yuuri made all of that disappear. Cleared everything up. It was like being trapped in darkness for an immeasurable amount of time, and suddenly, you find a lit candle. The darkness still surrounds you, but you have a glimmer of light, no matter how unstable it is. It's still there. Wolfram would do anything to banish the darkness, but it couldn't be done. The hurt would never leave. But this Yuuri, this light, could distract him from it. Could make it hurt less.

Wolfram needed that.

He had known this Yuuri for quite some time. He had seen him almost everywhere. A constant presence. Just like the other Yuuri. He pretended to himself that it was alright. That it was normal. He couldn't fight it, so he just let it be. Let it fester.

He would look in the mirror and see snake eyes. He would look down at his shadow and see another silhouette next to him. He would make a sudden turn and see the fading figure adorned in black. Wolfram had known that something was wrong, but he couldn't bring himself to tell anyone. He couldn't admit that there was something else that was wrong with him. He wasn't crazy. This Yuuri was not fake, but he could pretend. He had no idea why this demon appeared to him in Yuuri's image. Yuuri was his safe place, where he went when he was afraid or upset. Yuuri was safety. He was sunlight and all that was good. He was love. And yet why was this Yuuri so…_dark_. He embodied evil. Wolfram knew this, and yet he couldn't stop seeing him. He soon began to anticipate seeing this Yuuri. Wolfram knew it was wrong. He knew.

When this Yuuri had started talking to him, he told the other Yuuri. Wolfram had told him one morning when they were eating. He had just blurted it out.

"Yuuri…I'm seeing things…"

Yuuri had asked him to describe it in detail. To leave nothing out.

"He comes to me when I'm alone…he makes the hurt go away…He looks like you, Yuuri. Like another you. But he's dark…scary…like a demon. He tells me to do things to myself. Last night, he wanted me to hang myself, but I thought that I should ask you before I did it. Is it alright to listen to him? He says that I should…"

Yuuri had looked shocked. His face had paled stark white and his mouth had hung open. In an instant, Yuuri had gathered the blond into his arms, clutching the willing body to him. Wolfram's heart had started to beat fast. Very fast. He had looked up, over Yuuri's shoulder. The other Yuuri had been looking at him directly, furious eyes burning into his.

"_How dare you…"_ He had hissed.

"Yuuri…" Wolfram had muttered into Yuuri's shoulder.

"Y-Yes? Wolf what is it?"

"He's standing behind you…"

Yuuri had spun around very quickly, fear radiating from his body, eyes wide in terror. After a short moment of seeing nothing, he had turned back to Wolfram and grasped both of his shoulders firmly.

"Listen, Wolf. You cannot listen to him. He's not me. He wants to hurt you. Don't listen. The real me is here to protect you. Just please…please don't listen."

Wolfram had nodded, and the conversation had been over with.

And Wolfram didn't listen to this Yuuri. He had ignored him. This Yuuri had grown even angrier.

Eventually, Wolfram had been left alone in the apartment. It had been scary. Terrifying. He had wanted whatever joke Yuuri was playing to stop, instantly. He had called out for him.

"Yuuri? Where are you?"

And then it had happened. A knife. Blood. Yuuri calling his name.

Nothing he could do to stop it.

Wolfram could feel the crisp sheets on his skin, gently rubbing against it. Everything was blurry…fuzzy…He heard someone shift next to him. Where was he? He was laying on something soft…A bed?

"Go back to sleep, Wolf…" He heard a familiar voice murmured, gently stroking his blond hair. He obeyed the voice and allowed himself to slip back into unconsciousness.

The next time Wolfram awoke, he felt numb. He couldn't really feel anything, and for that, he was glad. His ears, however, could pick up the sound of arguing. A man and a woman.

"He needs to be placed under the care of people who are trained to handle his disorder!" the woman shouted.

The man was quick to argue back. "He's fine where he is, now! There's nothing wrong with the life he leads!"

The woman regretfully answered. "He's in a hospital bed, now. Is this the kind of life that you want for him? We have no choice."

"I don't want to lose him…"

Focusing on the argument lost priority as Wolfram's mind became a haze once more. He allowed himself to slip back into darkness.

He woke once more to a man beside him. Crying. Wolfram wanted to reach out and to comfort him, but he couldn't move his arms. He pulled against the force that bond them to the bed, but it was useless. He was trapped. This fact scared him very much. He tried tugging again and again, fighting against it.

His eyes snapped open and he looked around the blurry room, writhing on the bed in pain that was caused by his rapid movements. He still didn't stop. He tugged and twisted his arms in an attempt to escape. In an attempt to reach out to the crying man. Everything was blurry. He couldn't see anything other than colors and obscure shapes. His head rounded to the man, his arms still struggling.

The man stopped his crying and quickly stood and pressed something the wall, calling out for a doctor.

A woman with long hair and a nice smile entered the room, calmly stroking Wolfram's hair as she injected him with something that made everything even more blurred.

Darkness consumed him, once more.

After a very still sleep, Wolfram woke once more. The man was still there. This time, he spoke instead of crying, but his voice still held the tinge of sadness. Wolfram didn't want this man to be sad.

"I didn't want this for you, Wolfram…" He whispered regretfully. "I tried my best to protect you, and I failed. This is my fault."

Wolfram's dry lips could barely form the words 'not your fault,' before the darkness claimed him.

The next time that Wolfram awoke, it was to a much clearer world. He could see clearly and could make out more than just the shape and color of things. He was in a very small room with pale pink painted walls and white curtains on the window. Flowers sat in a vase on a white bedside table. A monitor beeped constantly beside his bed. The bed, itself, was very unique. It reclined rather than lay flat, with great white metal bars raised slightly on each side. It wasn't meant to act as a prison, but was clearly meant to keep the patient in the bed. Looking down, Wolfram saw that his arms were strapped to the metal bars, securely bond by three tethers on each side.

Wolfram's eyes turned upwards to examine the room once more, but this time, his eyes met black ones. Yuuri.

"Wolf? You're awake?" Yuuri was about to stand and press the button on the wall that he had pressed before, when Wolfram stopped him.

"I-I'm fine, Yuuri." Wolfram was surprised by the hoarse quality to his voice. "Where am I? How long have I been asleep?"

Yuuri's eyes failed to meet his as he quietly answered Wolfram's second question, choosing to ignore the first. "You've been asleep for eight days."

Wolfram's eyes widened in surprise. Eight days? What about school? What about work?

At that moment, two women entered the room. One of them Wolfram recognized to be his psychiatrist, Gisela, the other, however, was unfamiliar. When she smiled, though, Wolfram identified her as the doctor who had made him go to sleep.

"How are you feeling, Wolfram?" The doctor asked.

Wolfram chose not to answer. He felt uncomfortable under her blank stare. After a moment of silence, the doctor chose to carry on the conversation as if Wolfram had deigned her with a reply.

"I'm glad that you are up! Right on schedule." She answered brightly, walking over to the end of the bed to pick up a clipboard. "You did quite a number on yourself…You'll be in bed for another three weeks."

Wolfram couldn't keep his eyes from drifting down to the restraints on his arms.

Gisela chose to speak up, this time. "Wolfram…I hope you understand the implications of what you've done to yourself. As of eight days ago, you've been classified as a danger to yourself and, therefore, must be restrained and watched for a minimum of six months before they will release you."

Wolfram's eyes widened and he slumped down into the bedding, the breath leaving his body in one gasp. He attempted, once more, to ask the one question that he desperately didn't want an answer to. This was no normal hospital. Something was stranger about this place.

"W-Where am I?"

Yuuri was about to open his mouth to answer, but cowardice stopped him. Gisela noticed and spoke up for him.

"You are in a mental correction facility. The Von Wincott Institution for the Mentally Unwell."

This sentence stopped Wolfram's heart. "I-Institution? I'm in an insane asylum?"

The doctor gently corrected him. "Mental institution."

Wolfram began to gasp for air, as though someone had delivered a hard punch to his stomach.

Gisela spoke once more. "Wolfram…You have textbook schizophrenia. Hallucinations, hearing voices, even acting as the voices tell you? You need to be in a place where you have doctors who are better able to help you than I am."

"Don't I have a say in this?" Wolfram shouted.

"I'm afraid not…" The psychiatrist answered. "Although being involuntary committed is rare, by nearly killing yourself and holding a past record of psychological disorders, you are being submitted for a psychological evaluation by Ms. Julia, here. Upon proving yourself to be mentally well, you will be released." Gisela paused before speaking once more. "You will be kept here for six months. If you show signs of improvement, than you will be released."

"Six…months…" Wolfram spoke as if he had suffered a blow.

"I've already informed both your school and your workplace. Your family has also consented. I'm sorry." Gisela mentioned sadly.

Wolfram could feel tears welling up in his eyes as he thought about what six months in this place meant. He didn't want this. He didn't need this. His eyes desperately sought out the only person who could do something about it. "Yuuri! Please…don't do this to me!"

Yuuri wouldn't meet his eyes.

Blond hair shook as Wolfram struggled against his binds once more. "Please! Why won't you look at me? _Yuuri_!"

"I'm sorry, Wolf…There's nothing I can do…" Yuuri stood from the chair that he had been situated in for the better half of a week. "I'll come back to visit you in a week…And who knows? Maybe this will all work out for the better…"

Yuuri leaned over to move Wolfram's fringe out of his eyes, looking into them without hesitation. "This is for the best, Wolfram."

The tears finally spilled over. "No…Yuuri…please…"

Wolfram's pupils dilated and he moved his eyes across the room quickly, never settling on one place for too long. The window. The door. The bed. Ms. Julia. Gisela. The other Yuuri.

The other Yuuri…it was all his fault. He stood grinning and leaning against the wall near the window. Waiting. Watching.

"Yuuri!" Wolfram screamed through his tears and lack of air. He was sure that he was near hyperventilating. He didn't care. Yuuri backed away, and soon, he was moving towards the door. They all were.

"Don't leave me! _Yuuri_!"

Wolfram fought against the restrains once more, though this time, the fight was less involved. He knew that he wasn't getting out anytime, soon. The door clicked shut and Wolfram was alone.

"_Hello again, pet…"_

By the tone of his voice, Wolfram could tell that the other Yuuri was pissed.

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	4. Chapter Three Communist Friends

**Hello guys! Glad that you can join me once more~ **

**I started a writing website where I'm going to start posting blogs on hints and tips about what I do to prep for writing and techniques that I use while writing. Check it out! The link is on my profile.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

Wolfram's veins ached. Everything did. He could feel the hurt pulsing in the back of his head, stabbing at him and pushing him to his limits. The other Yuuri took his cringing in stride, lounging in the chair where the real Yuuri had been. This Yuuri smirked and winked at him when the hurt grew into a hammering pain rather than the dull throbbing of before.

Wolfram didn't speak.

He knew that if he were to acknowledge this Yuuri's presence verbally, it would only reaffirm to him that this Yuuri existed in the first place.

This was wrong. This bed. This place. This entire situation. It all was wrong.

Wolfram didn't belong here.

Wolfram mourned the loss of the trust that he had once held for Yuuri. Of course, the blond still loved him and he would still take a bullet for him, but a certain hunk of respect that he had assumed Yuuri held for _him_ was now gone.

Maybe he was a masochist?

His self inflicted wound burned in a way that no numbing medicine could heal. It burned as a reminder of his faults and flaws. It reminded him that he was crazy. It reminded him that this was no normal hospital. His four walled room was not a place that he could simply leave at his leisure.

He was trapped. A prisoner.

He spent many hours examining every detail of his cell. The paint caked walls, the wilting flowers, the thick glass windows. He assumed that the windows were bullet proof so as to discourage anymore self harm. Perfect. The door had a single square of glass in the middle that revealed the world outside of his prison. Sometimes, he would catch a glance of someone walking by. He craved company. He needed to be around someone.

Soon, the simple need to be around someone escalated into an acute fear. He needed someone else in the room. The walls were closing in on him, and soon he would feel the bed beginning to sink in on itself. He heard a clock ticking but there was no clock in the room. Tick. Tock. Time moving…everyone leaving him behind. Everyone moving on except for him.

But one person did stay with him…

This Yuuri hadn't left his side since the day he had appeared.

His slender frame began to shake and he tried to look at everything at once. He couldn't afford to allow his eyes to leave any surface for a long period of time. If they did leave it, Wolfram was afraid that it would hurt him. His eyes grew unfocused as paranoia sank in. Where was everyone? Was he the only person left? What if someone tried to kill him while no one was around?

Wolfram was scared.

A nurse entered the room, and suddenly, Wolfram was able to breathe again. Finally…proof that he wasn't the only one left. Proof that he wasn't alone. Proof that no one could harm him. He could only be harmed if he was alone…if he was alone, everything could hurt him…

Hurt.

Suddenly, he was assaulted by images that had forced their way through the barrier of his mind while his defenses were down.

"_Wolfie…" a faceless man with ashen hair crooned, his large form closing in on him. "Now that we're alone, we can have some fun…You'd like that wouldn't you?"_

"_Wolfie…Turn around, Wolfie…" the man called. "Let's play a game. It's called leap frog…now turn around and get on your hands and knees…"_

"_Wolfie…this is how boys play…"_

"_Wolfie…"_

"_Wolfram…"_

"_Wolfra—"_

"Wolfram!" A voice shouted, bringing him back to the present. He forced his eyes to focus on whoever was hovering over him. Ms. Julia.

"Wolfram…are you alright? What's wrong?" She enquired softly, her hand gently touching his leg.

Wolfram's pupils dilated and he tried to flinch away from her unwanted touch, but the restraints around his arms refused to cooperate. "Do. _Not. Touch me!_" He hissed, legs flailing in an attempt to distance himself from her.

"Wolfram?"

"_Don't touch me!"_ Wolfram shrieked, body writhing and shying away from the hands that grabbed his shoulders_. "Don't touch, don't touch, don't touch! No, no, no, no!"_

"Doria!" Ms. Julia ordered the nurse from before. "Bring me a sedative! We need to calm him!" 

"No more!" Wolfram shouted. _"Stop touching me!"_

"I'm sorry Wolfram," Ms. Julia murmured, going through a mental checklist of symptoms for this particular outburst. "You must be restrained and calm before I can release you."

Wolfram's shrieking gave way to a great burst of tears and choked sobbing. He began to call out for Yuuri, pleading for him to be there with him. "Yuuri…Yuuri! Come back, Yuuri! Please don't leave me here!"

Ms. Julia was stern. "Yuuri is not here, Wolfram. You have to rely on yourself, now."

"Yuuri!" Wolfram sobbed, tears leaking out against his will. "Damn it!"

The nurse before, Doria, returned with a syringe. Ms. Julia took it out of the neat little case it rested in and ordered Doria to firmly hold Wolfram's arm down. It took only a moment for the needle to break Wolfram's flesh, pouring the sedative into his blood stream. Mrs. Julia extracted the needle very quickly and began to rub that spot of flesh in circles, urging the medicine to kick in quickly.

While they were busy administering the sedative, Wolfram's body was convulsing. The stress of the situation and the emotional conflict made his body begin to shake and his breath come out in quick gasps and groans. Oxygen simply would not enter his lungs no matter how hard he tried to get it to. His throat felt closed off and his head ached.

The sedative began its work quickly. Wolfram's body slumped into the mattress once more, head lolling on the pillows. His mind no longer focused on the memory that had surfaced from behind his barriers. Everything was thick and covered in fog. He could hear Ms. Julia and Doria's voices, they were discussing what had just happened. Wolfram could do little more than to just listen.

"I need you to tell me exactly what happened." Ms. Julia demanded sternly. The sweet and gentle Julia was replaced by the doctor with a mentally unwell patient. She was determined to solve this.

"I-I don't know…I came in to offer him lunch…his eyes glazed over, and he started babbling and begging for someone to stop hurting him. But then, it turned into that fit that you saw…I…I don't know what I did…"

Ms. Julia placed a comforting hand on the nurse's shoulder, gently reassuring her before allowing her to leave.

"You've caused quite the ruckus, Wolfram." She spoke after a moment of silence, seating herself on the edge of his bed. The sedative would keep him docile enough for her to be this close.

Wolfram's eyes tried to focus on her, but he was unable to complete the task. He settled for landing them in her general direction, instead. His mind was muddled and he couldn't think very clearly let alone move his lips enough to force sound to come out of them. He felt like someone had placed shackles on his mind, weighting him down so much that he could do little more than struggle under their weight.

Ms. Julia seemed to understand. She placed a hand on his head, ruffling his hair. Wolfram would have flinched away from the touch if he had the strength. The other Yuuri's upper lip curled in disgust at the hand that touched him.

"Sleep now, Wolfram." She spoke lightly, turning towards the door and exiting without another word.

Whether it was because of the gentle voice or the heaviness of the drug, Wolfram allowed himself to slip under.

Waking next time was an interesting experience for Wolfram. Doria had entered the room, just like last time, and she just stood and stared at him, as if expecting him to attempt to leap at her while foaming at the mouth. Wolfram stared right back.

"W-Would you like something to eat?" She asked quietly.

Wolfram shook his head, and then she was gone. She was clearly eager to escape any sort of closed off company with him. He didn't blame her.

"_I hate them all."_ The other Yuuri hissed. He seemed to not have moved from the chair by Wolfram's bedside since he had first situated himself there.

"You and I, both." Wolfram agreed easily. The last attack made him swear off not talking to the other Yuuri.

The other Yuuri stood with a flourish and began to pace back and forth in front of the bed. _"Now moving onto another issue," _He began_ "You _cannot_ tell them about me…we'll never escape if you do._"

"Escape?" Wolfram echoed. "Ahh, well I suppose that that would make sense. However, I will not be needing your services."

"_You think that this is a choice?"_ The other Yuuri chuckled. _"I can help you _free _yourself from this life…you'd only need something sharp…hell, something blunt will do if you don't mind the pain."_

"_We could be together, forever._" He promised.

Wolfram shook his head frantically and desperately wished for a cigarette to calm himself with. "Yuuri said that I shouldn't listen to you."

"_I am Yuuri."_

"No, the other one. You're not real." Wolfram told him matter of factly.

"_And who is to say I'm not?" _He sneered.

"Yuuri. He told me that you're not real because there can't be two of him."

"_Oh really?"_ The other Yuuri chuckled. _"Is that so? Well why should you trust him, anyway? He left you here…all alone…I'm the only one who cares, pet."_

"But Yuuri cares! I know he does…"

"_But then why did he leave you?"_ The other Yuuri paused. _"I'll give you some time to…think…about it."_

And then, he was gone. Disappearing until there was nothing and no one left in the room except Wolfram.

Wolfram desperately fought down the feeling of nausea and paranoia that threatened to take over him. His hands started quivering and without his approval, his mouth began to form whimpering noises. He lay there, chained to the bed with restraints, unable to even offer himself physical comfort. He couldn't even wrap his arms around himself.

That used to be Yuuri's job…

And all at once, the hurt was back. The crushing and suffocating hurt. The hurt that Wolfram had tried to forget so desperately.

He felt the memories of hands on places that they shouldn't have been on. The familiar voice calling his name.

"_Wolfie…Be a big boy and stop crying…"_

Hurt.

Everything hurt.

Wolfram gasped for air and wished for a corner to curl into. Anything to make sure that nothing but wall surrounded him on both sides, leaving nothing unguarded. He was scared. He was terrified.

He was alone.

Why he was alone, he didn't know anymore. All he knew was that he wanted it to stop, wanted the hurt to go away.

His thoughts drifted to Yuuri and he was filled with sadness on top of the hurt. Where was Yuuri? Why was he gone? Wolfram could barely recall a moment in which they had been separated. The bandages on his torso that he had long forgotten about rubbed achingly against raw flesh.

It hurt.

Everything did.

He needed Yuuri. Craved him. Like a drug.

But Yuuri had made his choice. Yuuri chose to keep him here and Wolfram had nothing left to do other than follow his orders.

If only Yuuri's orders didn't leave the tang of loneliness in their wake.


	5. Chapter Four Savior

**Yeah, I know…it's been a while. But real life just kinda blew up in my face, so I haven't had any time to finish this chapter…hopefully, things will start to die down soon _**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! ****All references to mental disorders, institutionalizing process, and the medical procedure that persons with said mental disorders go through is made up. Do not take this as a serious psychological process, I did the best with what information that I could find that would fit in the story.**

After several weeks of attempts to make Wolfram eat, he was hooked up to an IV that pumped nutrients into his body. Wolfram hated it. Wolfram hated the institution. Wolfram hated. The other Yuuri made no more appearances and as his cheeks hollowed and his eyes grew more sunken, he became more withdrawn from everything.

He no longer cared if the other Yuuri came back. He didn't care if Ms. Julia ever entered his room again. He didn't even care if the real Yuuri visited. Caring was pointless and he saw no end to his imprisonment and he cared not for flowery words about getting better. His eyes grew glossier everyday and he felt as though his entire world had been covered in plastic wrap, clear but fuzzy. He felt dizzy often and if he were able to move, he would guess that his movements would be just as sluggish as his thoughts.

He drifted in and out of true consciousness. Occasionally, he would catch sight of the real Yuuri at his bedside and he would weakly turn his head towards him and plea for sanctuary.

His current position proved that Yuuri hadn't budged.

One time, a month after his imprisonment, his mother visited him.

"Wolfie~" She had called as she burst into the room. "What are you doing in this stuffy place~? Oh please don't tell me that this is because of your little episodes?" She sat primly in the stiff chair at his bedside and brushed aside his blond hair.

Wolfram did not answer. He simply stared blankly at her, his IV attached to his wrist and his wrists attached to the bed.

His gaze had frightened Celi and she had glanced away awkwardly, patting his hand and standing to shuffle around the room, moving the curtains to and fro and adjusting the pictures on the wall even though they didn't need to be fixed. She did this for several moments before Wolfram's hazy thoughts managed to form a coherent sentence.

"Please…Mother…get me out of here…" Wolfram's voice sounded pathetic even to his ears.

"Please…Mother…" His begging continued, voice rising in slight panic.

"I don't belong here…It's me…Wolfram…"

Celi couldn't take much more of her youngest's begging. She lifted her chin, looking down on her son over her nose. In an instant, the skittish mother was gone, replaced with her less forgiving counterpart. "Wolfram. There is nothing I can do for you. You are here to get help, and you will get help." She hid the pain that his dead eyes brought to her. She was doing this for him. For all of them. "You aren't healthy, Wolfram. There's something wrong with you that can't be fixed anywhere else." Celi bit her lip after the last part. She hadn't meant for that sentence to escape in that manner. She longed to grab the words from the air, where they hung with a thickness that a stranger could detect, and shove them back into her head.

Wolfram nearly choked.

"M-Mother…" He sobbed, his voice cracking without his permission. "M-Mother…please, don't leave m-me here…I'll get better, I s-swear!"

"I'm sorry, Wolfram…" Celi murmured regretfully. She had failed her son in many ways: allowing her husband to harm him, turning a blind eye to his troubles, not loving him as she knew she should…it went on and on. After meeting Yuuri Shibuya, she thought that he would get better, but that little piece of happiness had been brief and had only left Wolfram more broken than before. "You know I love you, Wolfram…but you need help…Help that I cannot offer you."

"Liar!" Wolfram shrieked. "You liar!" His body writhed on the bed, restrains rubbing his wrists raw. "_You_ don't love me! _No one_ loves me! Not even _Yuuri!_ Liar! Liar! _Liar_!" He could feel his voice tearing at his throat, but he didn't care. He ignored the pain in favor of throwing insults in his mother's face. "You _lie_ to me! You always _have_! Everyone _abandoned_ me! You let that _man_ hurt me because you _hate_ me!"

His breath came out in harsh panting. Inhale. Exhale. Too much. Too fast. Tears ripped out of his eyes like rapid fire and his voice sounded alien even to him. His jaw hurt and his throat ached with the pain that the screaming brought. His heart was pounding in his ears at an unsteady rhythm that was much too loud. His vision was hazy and he couldn't even control what he was saying anymore. He was almost certain that it had just turned into incoherent mumbling.

And through all of this, he could see the other Yuuri smirking in the corner. His eyes inviting and his smirk telling Wolfram that he knew all along that this would happen. That Wolfram would come running back to him.

The sight of those perverse eyes raking on his skin made Wolfram itch all over. His skin felt raw and hurt. His eyes burned. His throat was ripped. His breathing grew even more sharp and escalated.

Inhale. Exhale.

Inhale. Exhale.

In-Ex-Inhale.

Too much.

Too fast.

Wolfram screamed. The scream tore out of his throat with a vengeance, tearing at it even more. This scream embodied all of his pain. His anguish. His wish to be anywhere, _anywhere_, but where he currently was. His need to have Yuuri with him. His desire to not be alone.

His mother was terrified of him. She had pressed herself against the wall closest to the door. She made no attempts to stop the noise nor reassure her son. She was looking at him with wide, frightened eyes, as if he were an animal. A monster. Not her son. No possible way he was _her_ son.

The scream soon turned into broken sobbing, he stopped fighting the force of the tears, allowing them to pour down his face like a broken faucet.

In this moment, he felt completely and utterly alone. Abandoned. There was no one who loved him. No one who would save him. No one who cared enough to not look at him like some creature of lore. The hole in his heart was so wide that spiders could have laid their cobwebs in its depths, forever marking it as a place not to be explored.

The feeling of abandonment shrouded Wolfram in its cloak with no hope of ever seeing the light again. He would not forget this. Ever. This memory would haunt him for the rest of his life and any trust that he may have held for his family was forever shattered.

Through his broken sobbing, he managed to choke out his name. The one person who he could never stop loving.

"Yuuri…" He mumbled around the choking tightness in his throat. "Yuuri…please." He rolled his head from side to side, the only movement he could make while still restrained. "Help me…please…Yuuri…Yuuri…"

At that moment, Julia burst through the door, taking in the sight before her. Wolfram sobbing on the bed, heart monitor going crazy, wrists raw, breathing uneven. Celi pressed against the wall, eyes wide with fear and regret, clutching her chest in shock.

Julia wanted to turn on Celi and shake her roughly. Demand answers of her. She wanted to throw the distraught mother out of her son's room and offer Wolfram all the love he needed. But it was neither the time nor the place for either action. He plastered a calming smile on her face and glided over to Wolfram and gently took his hand in hers.

"Wolfram. I need you to calm down."

The blond boy continued his helpless sobbing. "Yuuri…Anything but this, Yuuri…"

Julia calmly shushed him. "It's going to be okay, Wolfram…If you calm down, maybe we can talk about this together, okay?"

Wolfram paused at this, breath still frantic, and managed to choke out another sentence. "I need Yuuri. I _need _him."

"I know, Wolfram…I know…" Julia murmured. "Just calm down…shhh…"

Wolfram refused. "I need Yuuri. He's the only one who loves me. I don't care if my love is different. It's good enough. Get me Yuuri. I need Yuuri."

Julia sighed as Wolfram started up again. "Wolfram, if you don't calm down, we'll have to put you to sleep again…Please, just take some deep breaths and relax."

After what seemed to be an eternity, Wolfram finally calmed down enough for Julia to administer a light sedative into his system. The sedative didn't make Wolfram drowsy, but he felt like there was a thick fog over everything. He only vaguely remembered his mother being ushered out of the room, leaving him alone with the other Yuuri, catlike grin stretching over his features as he took in the vision that Wolfram made on the bed; all matted blond hair and bleary eyes.

Wolfram ignored him.

The hurt was back with a vengeance. So were the memories. Those painful, dreadful memories.

"_Wolfie…" A man's voice called to him. "Come here, Wolfie."_

"_Wolfie, come sit in my lap." The man crooned, Wolfram had no other choice but to comply. _

"_Don't you want to be a big boy, Wolfie?"_

"_Wolfie…"_

"_Wolfram…"_

Wolfram was so caught up in his flashbacks that he didn't even notice Julia enter the room once more. She observed his glossy eyes with growing alarm, his slight shaking not escaping her notice. She closed in on him, checking the beeping machines hooked up to him. His IV was fine…his heart monitor was fine…What was wrong?

His eyes had a scary far away look that Julia didn't want to think about. His were the eyes of a victim, someone who had been through hell and high water and had too many scars left behind to simply forget about it. As a doctor, Julia knew that the physical wounds would heal, but as a person, she could recognize the look in his eyes as something that would take more than confinement to a bed to fix.

"_Wolfram…why don't you listen anymore?" The man called angrily._

"_Why do you disobey me?"_

_Wolfram could feel hot tears rolling down his cheeks as the man struck him again and again, caring not for his emotional, physical, or mental well being. He risked calling out to him. "Please…stop…"_

"_You filthy bastard! You're just as bad as your mother!" The man shrieked, the beating growing more severe. "You spread your legs for everyone, don't you? _Don't you_?" _

_Wolfram was too young to even understand what the man was talking about. He was too young to realize that it was wrong. Too young to defend himself. Too young to realize what his touches meant. _

"_Suck it." The man said simply. "Suck it and maybe I'll forgive you."_

_Wolfram was too young to realize that he had done nothing wrong, that he didn't need to be forgiven. The only thing Wolfram knew was that he was seven and an adult was angry with him._

_He was too young to deny him._

"_Wolfie…" The man groaned._

"_Wolf…"_

"_Wolfram…"_

"_Wolfram…" _

_The man called out his name between groans and grunts, and when he was done, he released Wolfram's head and allowed him to collapse onto the floor in tears. Wolfram didn't know where the shame came from, but it crashed down onto him like a tidal wave._

"_You know not to tell your mother, right, Wolfram?"_

_Wolfram nodded. It was the big rule. The one thing that he was always sure to obey. Whether it was out of pure obedience or fear that his mother would look at him differently, he didn't know._

"_You look just like her…Just like your mother…"_

_Wolfram flushed with shame._

"_Good job, Wolfie…You've done a good job…" The man murmured as he petted Wolfram's blond hair._

"_Good job…"_

"_Son…"_

In almost an instant, the room returned to Wolfram, as did the concerned eyes of Julia. She inched even closer to him once she recognized awareness in his eyes. Wolfram looked towards her sadly, lips quivering slightly in fear as the last few drops of the memories clung to his mind. The other Yuuri's eyes were even more narrow than usual. Anger radiated from him in pulsing waves.

"_That man will burn."_ He hissed from where he stood. _"That man will burn for his transgressions."_

Wolfram weakly shook his head, turning it away from the other Yuuri. Julia observed the motion with confusion. She looked behind her shoulder and only saw the plain walls of the room. Nothing else. She couldn't possibly see the other Yuuri who haunted Wolfram almost as much as the memories did.

"_I will have revenge._" The other Yuuri mentioned off handedly.

"_He shall die."_

"_And justice will be done."_

Wolfram tried to ignore him even though the words sounded so good to him. So good. So so good. They rang of no more hurt. Of painless eternity. Of justice.

"Wolfram?" Julia called out quietly, seeing the hysteria creeping into his eyes. "Stay with me, Wolfram."

"_I could end all of this." _The other Yuuri offered in that seductive voice that made everything harder to ignore. _"We could be together forever…you and I."_

"_Together."_

"_Forever."_

Wolfram was tired. So tired of everything. He was tired of memories and he was tired of hurt and he was tired of other Yuuri's making him dark offers that were growing harder and harder to refuse. He was tired of fear and pain. He was tired of being terrified of emptiness. He was done. Done with everything.

In that instant, he realized that he would not be leaving that hospital bed anytime soon unless he abided by their rules. He would not see Yuuri of his own violation until he got rid of all of this emotional baggage.

Wolfram was better than this. He was so much better than all of this. He was too strong to let himself waste away on a hospital bed for the rest of his life. He could do this. He could.

And when he was better, completely healthy, maybe Yuuri would realize how much he loved him. Maybe they would get engaged. Or even better, maybe Yuuri wouldn't feel too afraid to leave him alone. Maybe they could be normal. Together.

The other Yuuri's words rang in the room once more.

"_We could be together. Forever…"_

Ignoring Julia's confused look, Wolfram answered him.

"Yes, we could be together…forever…and we will. We will."

Wolfram turned his scorching gaze onto Julia, eyes shining with determination. "I need to get better. I'm tired of not knowing myself. I know I'm stronger than this."

His heart was beating wildly in his chest and the beeping of the machine sped up along with it. Julia's smile was breathtaking.

"I'm so glad that you want to get better, Wolfram." Her voice was so genuine that Wolfram felt a little touched. "I'll be here to help you along the way…In a few weeks, when your bed confinement is over, we can immediately start your therapy sessions! We'll do this together, Wolfram."

Wolfram could tell that the other Yuuri wasn't pleased in the slightest, but for the first time, he didn't care.

"I'm going to get better." Wolfram said, the sentence sounding a bit foreign to his ears, so he said it again. "I'm going to get better."

Julia chuckling joyfully and rose to exit the room and spread the news to Gisela, but before she left, she heard Wolfram's voice once more.

"Oh, and can you take this IV off? I think I'd like to eat something…"

For the first time in what felt like years, Wolfram felt hopeful.

He was going to healthy and he was going to return to the real Yuuri, and there was nothing that could stop him.


End file.
